Today was one of those days for me. For no real particular reason, other than the million little reasons, I progressively became crabbier and crabbier. It is becoming increasingly loud in my head...the chaos, that is. The chaos that is my home and my life, and my inner dialogue. I've got several things to work on...to change...and to face and figure out. If only I had the time and desire to do so.
So, as you can imagine, it is often loud at my house. Of course, having five children can be loud, but I also seem to have even louder than normal children. All of them seemingly trying to be louder than the next...all trying to get my attention at the same time. One of them is usually giving me attitude and testing me all the ever loving time. Another one seems to only have a dialogue of whine. One of them is in constant fast motion and living on the edge...forever testing the laws of gravity and Murphy's law. The other two are just LOUD and crazy.
I love them. I love them to death, and it is not their fault that I get annoyed quickly sometimes. Today was one of those days. I even told them that I was crabby, and that they should just not try and talk to me. That's terrible, isn't it....but I felt it was fair, and kind of me, at the time.
So, Monday night consists of perpetual movement, as usual. Get kids home from school. Do snack and play, and try to get some homework done. At 4:30, I take one to basketball practice. At 5:15 I take another one to "night school". At 6:00, go back and pick up the one from basketball practice. 6:30 is when "night school" is over. On the way back from "night school", I dropped off our first ever red box rental, and stopped and got myself a soda. And of course...when I got back from all that, it was time to sit down with my girlie who didn't go to school today because she was sick, and work on all 15 or so pages of homework that was brought home to her. (Geesh, I hate homework, even when it isn't mine....)
I know, you are all probably gone by now, because this is pretty boring...trust me, I know, I'm living it.... But, imagine if you will this scene. Mom is still UBER cranky, trying to help a child with all this homework, while one child sits next to me crabbing about her chicken patty being cut up, when she wanted it whole...and other child keeps climbing on me, crying because she wants a drink of my God Forsaken diet pepsi, while the ever moving boy is crashing into every wall he can find, because "it's fun", and then Ms. Attitude is crabbing that I took back the red box movie before she got to finish it. ....and while all this is going on OUTSIDE of my body, my inner self is thinking these sorts of things: What dressdown clothes am I going to get out for the kids to wear? Damn, I really need to clean and organize around here. I sure hope we don't end up owing the tax man a million dollars. Just what am I going to end up doing with Julianne next year? Who is going to get these kids to the talent show dress rehearsal on Thursday....blah blah blah.
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo........ after dinner, it happened. God stepped in and said.."sit. enjoy." It started off with the kids practicing their Talent Show songs. Then, it turned into a "dance off" in my living room. The kids, all five of them, danced wildly in my living room as I sat on the couch, sipping my diet pepsi. They were having fun. True, honest fun. I sat there thinking to myself, that THIS is what today brought me. I will remember this scene in my head forever. They laughed until they cried, as did I.
I love my kids. Thank you God, for making me stop, sit and enjoy. Enjoy I did.