Friday, October 28, 2011

A Disgustingly Funny Story. . .

We have this new puppy. Ok, so she isn't so "new" anymore, but she is still a puppy. Pippy is her name. That is short for Pipsqueak. Allison named her. I would have named her Pepper, if I was given the honor. Then we would have Chili and Pepper. Yeah, I'm funny like that.

Puppies like to eat things. Did you know that? Yep, they sure do. Everything. Baby dolls, crayons, staples, shoe strings, boxes, table legs.... you get the idea. This dog likes to chew. And eat.

So, today Audrey and Julianne took Pippy the Puppy outside to "do her business". About ten minutes later, I hear my name being called...and then yelled! I run outside thinking maybe Pippy had escaped through the gate or something.

"Mom!!! Pippy got the rabbit!!! Under the bushes!!!! She's tearing her apart and ripping out her insides and eating them!!!"

Wait. What did you just say? Surely you didn't just tell me I was going to have to climb under the bush to grab the puppy away from a killed rabbit that she was eating!

Being a grown up sucks sometimes.

So, I grab a long stick, thinking I am going to have to poke at the puppy to get her away from her fresh meat meal.

Here I go. Kneeling down in the grass, right by the fence facing my neighbors yard. Great. Not only am I doing something so disgusting that I don't let my mind process what I am about to do, but I also get to give my neighbor (yes, the one who hates us) a big bent over hiney wave hello.

"Pippy...Pippy...come here Pippy....." I say in my highest pitched voice. poke...poke with my stick.

Not working. I guess I am actually going to have to look and see. I cannot believe just two minutes ago I was gearing up for a nice cozy mid afternoon nap, and now I am about to pry a puppy off of a dead, ripped up rabbit. What the hell, ya know!

So I look. I see it. A mess of white fuzz. Now I frantically poke at the puppy to get her away from the rabbit. Oh my gosh!!!The rabbit is stiff and looks like it has been dead for awhile. At least that is what I can gather through all the branches and leaves.

I look closer. CLOSER. I stare at it, and cannot believe what I am seeing.


I bust out laughing. This is what I found. WARNING...

Oh yes. This is "rabbit". Rabbit was being torn apart and eaten by Pippy. In case you can't tell, it is a stuffed toy animal.

I laughed and sighed with relief. And then, to make this story even better, Julianne said to me, "Mom, she didn't get the baby bunny, at least." What does that mean? She then turned "rabbit" over, and said..."See, baby bunny was safe all along."

Baby Bunny: on top of the fuzz.....

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