Friday, July 13, 2012

People that I used to know...

This note can possibly be taken quite literally by some people.  And it may even come off as mean and cruel.  But please realize, it is my crazy...working itself out.  I'm sure  you are all just fine wonderful people.  You just don't need me.  That's all.

And as of today, I'm going to be FINE with that.

Story goes like this:  I was somewhere that was VERY intense and shared secrets that will never be spoken elsewhere...and I showed sides of me that God willing never appear in front of people who aren't trained to handle crazy asses.  I opened my heart, and also listened to their stories.  I felt connections I hadn't felt in God knows how long.  I felt like these people really cared for me.  And I know I really cared for them.

The time came, and I left.  I had a good cry.  We all hugged.  We exchanged info.  PROMISED to keep in touch.

Promised to keep in touch.

Promised to keep in touch.

Fortunately, about 3 people still occasionally talk to me.  The others, in reality I am sure are just continuing to deal with their issues, and don't have ill intentions of trying to hurt me, or ignore  my simple requests of hello.  I am quite vain if I think they sit around and think about how they could hurt me by not responding to me, or ignoring me. is not all about me, I must remind myself.  It's OK really.

I miss them.  I miss that time.  I miss being connected.

I pray they all do well.  I pray they all face their demons, recover, and then maybe think of me now and again.  

I do not handle the feeling well of being forgotten about, not cared about, erased, lied to, whatever.
Like I said...It's MY Crazy.....

But this mine:

And I am again putting on my armour of protection to allow nobody that close to me.  It hurts too much afterwards.

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