Friday, July 18, 2008

Pampering or punishment...

This past Valentines day, my great husband gave me a gift certificate for $100 to a local spa. I was this is not something he would ordinarily do. I was honestly surprised, which I am usually NOT ever surprised. I looked at the price list, and well....$100 does not go very far at this place, unfortunately. Fast forward to this week. We will be visiting Jeff's family next week, and I wanted to "fix" my hair a bit. So, Wednesday after work, I went to Great Clips to get my hair cut. Much cheaper. And yesterday, I went to the spa to get my hair highlighted.

I have a personality flaw I suppose, because I do NOT, NOT enjoy doing this. Well, I *do* enjoy getting things done to make me look better...but I do not enjoy the process.

I hate how I look. When walking into the place, I feel like people are giggling inside because fat, ugly me is actually going to a spa. "Yeah, like we can fix her..." is what I think they are saying.. Then, I have to sit in the chair and see myself in the mirror, right in front of me. I never look in the mirror otherwise. So, being forced to stare at myself is like torture. They ask me what I am looking to have done. The only thing I can think to say is, "Something to make me look younger..." I never have a real answer. I don't know... So then, I have to take my glasses off....which I can't see without them. So I feel like a blind lady, and can see nothing. Absolutely nothing other than colored fuzz. Then I have to talk to the lady. I feel stupider and stupider with every answer I give. And I hear myself do that stupid nervous laugh...which I can't stand. (((Hurry up and get done with me!!))) Ugh. As I am about finished, she starts the whole gig with "you really should get *this* product we sell here because...." crap. And then I start trying to build myself up to be able to say, thanks but no thanks....I feel guilty for saying no after she has spent 20 minutes telling me how much my hair would benefit from this or that, and how great this product is.....ugh again.

I am done. Just about finished. They say $75 please. Whew, I have a $100 GC and I say, just use the rest for her tip. The lady then says...we can't use that for tip. Great. Now I am forced to give a $25 tip!! because I just told her to give her that much from the I can't do less than that now. Great. $25 for my *free* hair color.

And to top it all off. I don't even care for the finished look. I had Alena take a pic. First she took one of me looking at the camera. It was so horrendous that I had her just take a pic of the back.

I really, really hope that one day I don't feel this horrible about myself. I am crap.


Heather said...

You are fabulous, and I hope one day SOON you realize that about yourself. I love you my friend.

I think your hair looks cute! However, I too have had the 'gift card to a swank place that didn't come out fabulous like I wanted and then I wanted to cry from the diappointment of a wasted gift card to someplace I will never go again' situation and I know how it feels. I wanted to cry when I got home. That sucks. :( I'm so sorry.

Heather said...

awe i'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you had hoped. and i will admit that my visits to salons sure do sound a lot like yours.

the back shot does look nice though!

i love you to pieces...hope you know that. and that it makes you smile...just a little :)

Jenn said...

Okay, your hair looks fab-from the back...but back shots ONLY should not be allowed! :-)

Girlfried, you are a wonderful, beautiful woman! Praying that you can realize it! Love you!

Angela said...

I could have sooooo written that same post. It's a shame we can't see ourselves the way others see us, isn't it? I honestly think your hair looks adorable-- and SO SHINY!! (((HUGS)))

J said...

Peppi, peppi, peppi! What am I going to do with you?! I wish you could see the beautiful person that you ARE! I wish we lived closer so that I could give you a hug. I know exactly how you felt at that spa- I too feel the same way when I go to get my hair done. I feel frumpy, fat and out-of-style. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I love you!

Susan said...

why do we women constantly beat ourselves up for not being enough, when to some people we are the entire world? love you, girl.