Saturday, December 29, 2012

New Year Schmew Year...

In a few days, a new year starts.  A new year.  When you think about it, what's the big deal?  It is just time continuing on from the previous day/month/year.  It is not like you take a step over a crack and BOOM, you are in a new year.  Time is time is time.

People set goals, or "resolutions" at the beginning of each year.  Usually always the same...lose weight, eat healthier, be nicer, etc. etc.  Why does January make it "normal" to set these sort of goals.  Couldn't these resolutions be started at any time?  I think so.

With that being said, I too am making some promises to myself starting TODAY.  Not in a few days from now.  Why wait?  I ask myself....

I am tired of living the way I have been living.  I can't explain it to those who don't live it, but my eating disorder consumes me.  And I am tired of it.  I am making a promise to myself to 100% actively try to recover.  Like....really recover.  I want to be thin...but I also want to be normal.  And I want to feel love and be able to love again.  I miss having my brain think of other things other than calories, pounds, water weight, pant size, wrist size, leg size......I'M TIRED OF IT.  I am more than this.  I AM ENOUGH how I am.

God made me.  God loves me.  He knows the plans for me.

So, as January 1 approaches, I will be ahead of all those waiting until the clock strikes midnight to begin their journey into new resolutions.  Catch me if you can!

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